Just a Man
by Lydian Stone
Summary: They thought he was somehow endowed with abilities to fulfill the promises to keep them safe unconditionally.  He knew he was as human as they come.  Gibb's thoughts during Engaged II.  Second chapter Gibbs/Ziva  Father/Daughter
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Tag to Engaged II, a little insight into Gibbs' thoughts while on the flight home. Second chapter is mainly Gibbs and Ziva (father/daughter), and will be posted within a few days.

_Flashbacks are in italics_

**Just a Man**

Fatigued eyes of a weary Marine looked down at the casket, so carefully arranged with the flag folded crisply to adorn the remains of the fallen soldier, acutely aware that it was only chance that spared his life. He considered what a gift it was to be able to inhale the air of the carrier and he slowed his breath appreciatively . . . in . . . out . . . in . . . out . . . as he recalled the events of the past few days.

_He was given little time to prepare for the mission, and after hastily assessing who was needed where, he decided that he would take only Ziva, leaving the stateside investigation in Tony's capable hands and leaving McGee to handle the computer stuff - and Abby. He couldn't deprive Abby of both himself and McGee, the two men she loved most of all. Unlike the team, Abby was no soldier and her emotional fortitude had been waning after years of strain. Gibbs knew he must be the one to tell her and that he had to be as confident with her as he could. Somehow before he got to her lab she had caught wind of the mission and was in full panic mode._

_Pictures of Gibbs and Ziva were already taped to the wall in the lab. Pacing around the room, Abby saw him enter and immediately started nervously talking without making eye contact. "Gibbs, I know you need to rescue the Lieutenant and the little girls. They need you and you have to go. I know you do, and you'll need Ziva to translate, but . . . " her low voice and slight tremor in her gesticulations told him all he needed to know about her state of mind. She suddenly faced him and intently stated, "You have to come back, you and Ziva have to come back. I know you'd do anything to save them, you'd be the first to throw yourself on a grenade to save everyone given a chance. But you have to remember that if you die I would have to be the one to sort through your remains. You have to promise me you will never make me do that for you or Ziva or any of you - ever." Gibbs knew her admonition was at an end when she fell into his open arms. _

"_Abbs, We'll be fine." A few more sobs escaped as he rubbed her back. "We'll be back before anyone has time to even toss a grenade." He placed a finger under her chin and nudged it up, "Positive thoughts, Abbs." _

_She responded to her own mantra by straightening and assuring him, "I'll do my best work, Gibbs. I'll do everything I can . . . just . . . I need to hear you say it." She looked to him as though he alone determined their fate._

"_Abbs, I promise." He leaned down and kissed her cheek, hoping he didn't just lie._

Special Agent Gibbs thought of how often he had made such cavalier guarantees over the years. He was well aware that he had little control over any given situation, even as the well-intentioned potential lies escaped his lips. How often had he promised them something, only to wonder if this would be the time that he'd lose their trust completely.

_McGee and Tony were not amused, when Gibbs, in full Gunny mode, announced only two of them were mission essential. Sure, it made sense that their resident linguist spoke Pashto, among many other languages that may come in useful, but despite the practicality, those staying behind sensed the full wrongness of it. Ziva David was an American, and they all felt ownership of her emancipation from war torn countries that had oppressed her all her life. Nothing good ever came from her jaunts to the Middle East before her naturalization, and to risk another traumatic experience seemed like folly to the younger men. _

_Aware of all that was not being said, Agent David dutifully packed her gear and headed out after giving each of her partners what she meant to be a reassuring nod and a left with a confident, "See you in a few days. Gibbs, I'll meet you at the transport." As she turned to leave, all four team members felt unsettled, but trusted that a casual goodbye would stave off a permanent separation that warranted words of stronger sentiment._

_McGee offered a firm, "Be careful, Boss." in Gibb's direction while he turned towards the stairs, no doubt to check on Abby. _

_Tony stood with his arms crossed glaring at his boss. Gibbs put down his gun and badge then straightened to his full height and matched the younger man's stance and with authority promised, "I'll bring her back, DiNozzo."_

_Tony glanced to the side and stubbornness gave way to worry. "You should at least have McGee and me there for backup. Last time it took all of us to pull off a rescue." And there it was, the fear that they were tempting fate once too often. Confession made, Tony could not stop the internal jitters from manifesting themselves as a twitching finger. _

_Placing a firm grip on his senior field agent's shoulder, Gibbs looked him in the eye and calmly replied, "Tony, a camp full of Marines will have our backs. What we need from you and Tim is for you to do your jobs here. The better intel. we have, the safer we'll be." His only response was a slight tilt of his second's head and a pained expression._

"_I will bring her back in one piece."_

_DiNozzo replied, "Promise you'll both come back in one piece." _

"_Wouldn't have it any other way." Gibbs casually responded as he turned to leave._

What struck the team leader during this recollection was the degree of expectation that was in Tony's eyes. As though by Gibbs firmly making a promise it would increase their chances of survival exponentially. Before him in the silver flag covered box was a sober reminder that he was not able to guarantee his own safety or that of another.

It seemed that even though he had revealed his weaknesses over time, his "kids" still believed that when he said he had their backs or guaranteed their protection that he was somehow endowed with paranormal abilities to fulfill these promises unconditionally. He knew he was as human as they come, skilled, determined, and often lucky, but just a flawed man nonetheless. They deserved better.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Most Fortunate Man**

Hours into the journey Special Agent Gibbs stretched his legs and took in the sight across from him. Two beautiful young women were sleeping, each had survived terrorist captors and though they had only met the day before he had no doubt they would be forever linked. He did not know if he would have had the fortitude to move on if either one of them had ended up in that box. He remembered Ducky calling him an old chauvinist when Kate died because losing men in battle was somehow more palatable to him than losing women. He couldn't help it. When he looked at the camo clad military heroes what he saw were two little girls with braids and Barbie Dolls. He had to smile at that image. He was positive that Ziva would have preferred to play with action figures and doubted she was ever allowed a Barbie Doll, but she had to have been six at one time.

_He met Ziva at the carrier and she seemed to be all business, taking note of their supplies, mainly weapons, and carefully arranging and rearranging everything in her pack. It dawned on him that this sort of extraction would have been commonplace during her life in Mossad. Get in, rescue (or more often kill) then get out. It was unusual going on a mission just the two of them, but in a way it was comfortable. Both had a military mindset, had extensive combat experience and knew each other well enough to not have to discuss much. Gibbs nodded to her and she managed a smile._

_The transport to Afghanistan was loud and they were not the only ones hitching a ride so there was not much said between them. He watched over his charge as she slept. There was no imminent danger, but all the same the Gunny's instincts kicked in and he refused to sleep while her eyes were closed. He promised to watch over her and he would do what was in his limited abilities. The former assassin looked so young and sweet while asleep. No tragic expressions or jaded worry lines, just a pretty girl who could have grown up anywhere, happy and unaffected. She should have grown up that way, but instead she was imbedded with battle instincts and the language of her homeland's enemies. She was strategically valuable, worldly, and able to cope with whatever scenes may arise because it could never be worse than what she had already seen in her short lifetime. _

He had spoken to Mr. Flores about fathers wanting to protect their daughters. With Kelly he didn't have the chance. He would have never wished her to have Ziva's life, in fact he strove to keep Kelly healthy and happy, yet she died a violent death. What he would not tell DiNozzo, McGee or even Ducky is that aside from her tactical contributions, he chose Ziva for more personal reasons as well. Yes, her knowledge of culture and language was be useful, but he wanted to prove to her (and himself) that he could keep her safe, that she could return to the same area of the world that gave her such grief and she could walk off the carrier with her head held high, that fear conquered. And by the grace of God, who he just might start believing in, she would be able to walk off the aircraft whole.

_The little girls were smiling. _

_One may never see again, both were covered in cigarette burns, yet both were smiling at the nice Americans who rescued them. This was a picture of childhood Gibbs had a hard time swallowing. Horrible things had happened, yet at that moment the girls were safe, being cared for and that was enough. They did not cry, or dwell on what was done to them. Happy moments, no matter how fleeting, were meant to be cherished, not marred by distress over what might happen next. He glanced at Ziva who was also smiling and chatting with the girls and he wondered if this was a picture of her childhood, if she understood this mindset that seemed so foreign to him. He placed a kiss on each of the girls' heads and silently prayed that there would be much more laughter than tears in the years to come and left the tent overwhelmed. He had only a few minutes to pull himself together before joining the men who were planning the extraction._

_Twenty minutes later Captain Quincy looked at the 115 lbs of fury facing him and reasoned, "Even active duty women are not to be involved with direct combat and you're a civilian. Your assignment is to wait in the truck then assist only after any firefight has resolved."_

_She struggled to respect the captain while trying to make a case for her involvement. Her true commanding officer pulled her aside to let her vent. "Gibbs, that is ridiculous. I am more skilled than most of the men here. I know the area, the language and there is no reason why I should not actively participate in the extraction. I could do this in my sleep."_

_Gibbs finally cut her off, "Hey, I know. There's no one that I trust more to have my back in combat than you. Just let me talk to him and see what I can do. But, Ziva, no matter the decision, it is his to make and you need to respect that."_

_She huffed, "I know, but he needs to understand that keeping a skilled soldier sequestered in a truck is not a good use of his resources!"_

_Gunny Gibbs was proud of her, fighting to help, to prove herself to get the mission done and done well. Yet what Abby referred to as Daddy Gibbs wanted Ziva safely in the truck because he didn't want to break any promises. He didn't want to lose another daughter himself and he knew if he lost her, he'd lose them all in some measure. Reluctantly he knew that Ziva was right and that she should fight. As a result he spent the next ten minutes defending a position that he only partially was sold on himself. _

_The firefight was thankfully short, but not without casualties. Gibbs watched Ziva tending to the captain, and he swelled with pride. She was still quite the soldier, but one with compassion and a woman that any man would be proud to command, or call a daughter._

He knew himself to be just a man, a thankful man that this day he did not disappoint those who see him as their fearless leader, a sober man admitting that his own limitations are real and vast and knowing that it was not in his power to contrive this outcome but most of all in this moment he felt himself to be a most fortunate man. His once prodigal daughter, was resting next to Flores' newly resurrected child.

When the plane landed they paid their respects as the coffin was ceremoniously transferred then said goodbye to Lt. Flores and her father. Finally it was just Gibbs and Ziva, facing each other. He gave her a hitched smile and pulled her into a gentle hug, resting his chin on her hair. "Having a daughter return from the dead is a miracle, one that I know all too well." His arms tightened around her as if to have his next words sink in, "A daughter is a precious thing." He leant down and kissed the top of her head and said, "Ziver, you are precious."

At those words she broke. All the conflicting emotions that welled inside her fought to escape. She had gone back to the desert, fought and survived. She had a good man die in her arms. She laughed with little girls that would be forever scarred, and now she been called "precious." She always felt that she had been unworthy of being rescued, and now she finally understood that it was not about merit, but something stronger, more fundamental. She didn't have to explain this to Gibbs as he gently wiped her tears with his calloused thumb

She would not have understood if those words were spoken to her by anyone else, but this was Gibbs. And Gibbs, after all, was so much more than just a man.


End file.
